Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Sci-Fi "Milsim" Scenarios - Rant Week

"Mars, June 12, 2090- The planet Mars, which has been living in relative peace since Douglas Quaid got the Air Reactor working in 2084, is in turmoil. A new problem has arisen. There is a limited amount of fuel for the Air Reactor. And once again, a limited amount of air is being sold in only certain sectors. In order to get more air to your sector you must have air points. To get these points you must get fuel to the reactor. The only way to get fuel to the reactor is to fire it through the only fuel gun on the planet. The humans and the mutants are battling for control of the fuel gun. So the fight is on. Whoever controls the fuel gun controls the amount of air in the sectors. The battle is intense. Who will win???"

This Total Recall sequel was the setup for a recent Paintball event at a field in my area, an event that billed itself as a "Milsim" event. Of course this wonky scenario took place at a Paintball park full of lush trees and grass, items that wouldn't be too common on Mars with limited oxygen. You'd really have to stretch your imagination to pull this one off.

At another "Milsim" game I was at last season, the background was that in the year 3000 A.D., "The Eagle", starved of energy resources and water, was sending small raiding parties to attack "The Beaver" and raid resources. Who comes up with this shit???

Obviously in Milsim-oriented Paintball, there's a fair share of "Let's pretend". But it's ridiculous that in this world today, with all of its current conflict zones and potential flashpoints, that organizers need to go wayyyy "out there" and set up a scenario 100 to 1000 years into the future, or even in "off-world" settings, for "Milsim" events. Let's just call these stories what they are, SCENARIOS, and stop pretending this is Milsim. The majority of people showing up to these events, (lured in by the label "Milsim") are showing up in modern camo with markers tricked out to look like modern weapons, not Star Wars blasters. These scenarios are more suited to people in space suits, shiny clothes, and flashy, futuristic space guns (in other words, the Speedball crowd - not Milsim players).

I swear, if I ever make it back to one of these "Milsim" events with organizers who seem to watch too much Sci-Fi, I'm going to wrap my marker in tin foil, wear Starfleet patches on my BDU Velcro, and make laser sounds when I fire at the other team.

Speaking of Sci-Fi, check out the footage from Paintball Paradise's Battle For Hoth Big Game this past winter (NOT billed as a Milsim event). Pretty cool!

They'll be holding The Battle For Endor Big Game on September 18th, 2011. I don't have any other info on the event, but I'm sure Ewok costumes, paintball slingshots, and self-made laser sounds will be just fine.

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