Mike Backtracks On A Rant! - Rant Week


Back in February I posted a rant called The Gran Torino Lineup, in which I took aim at a few things that generally aggravated me, but didn't each warrant a rant of their own. One of those things was "morale patches", completely unfunny little velcro patches with equally unfunny one-liners on them. But lo and behold, I've come across a patch for which I can make an exception, one which I've actually bought:


I'm tying the knot in exactly 55 days (yes, it's down to a countdown), and when I saw this patch I knew I just HAD to have it. I ordered it from Royal Tiger Gear, and when it came I showed it to my fiancee, who was, shall we say, "less than amused".

But I'm a MAN dammit, and until August 27th, my balls still belong to me. So I proudly debuted this patch at the 2011 D-Day event at Voodoo Paintball, sticking it to the Velcro on the left sleeve of a combat shirt for all to see. I got a couple "I hear ya man"s and a "Been there, done that" comment from some older players, no doubt for whom the game ended a long time ago, and who were speaking from experience. I also got some puzzled looks at it from some younger players there, probably wondering what this strange ritual was on the patch (but this was in Quebec, where no one gets married anymore).

The next step is to pick up the T-shirt version on eBay for my bachelor party night out in Montreal. I'm also considering wearing it at the wedding rehearsal (to get a good laugh from all those close friends and family members of hers around), and maybe even on my honeymoon, when the wifey's gone to get a massage and I have time to kill by the beach or something.


Of course, I don't know if the sheer shit-disturbing enjoyment I'll get at the rehearsal or on the honeymoon will be worth the year or so I'll spend in the doghouse afterwards, so I'm still weighing the pros and cons of those courses of action.

Anyway, I posted this to show that I CAN be wrong, and when I rant about something I can sometimes change my mind, or make an exception.

But for the record, every other "morale patch" STILL sucks.

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